You know you’re a poker junkie when…

  1. Every time you see a map reference like K 10 you instantly equate it with a group 6 Sklansky starting hand.
  2. You know the full name and moniker as well as every major tournament achievement of your favourite player, but are only vaguely aware that your first child was born ‘some time in February a couple of years back’.
  3. You spend more time browsing the two-plus-two forum and pocket fives site than surfing for porn.
  4. When filling out the national census, you listed poker as your religion.
  5. You view a full house as a strong hand…not a state of poverty and certainly not a crap 90′s sitcom.
  6. You finally got sick of telling bad beat stories.
  7. You would gladly bare Patrik Antonius children…even though you are a man.
  8. Whenever you use the ATM you withdraw irregular sums like $290, to make sure you have the notes to change out your home game.
  9. You develop chronic appendicitis each year for about a month which positively absolutely has nothing to do with the fact that the World Series happens to be on…honest.
  10. Your toilet has at least two dozen issues of bluff magazine in the rack.
  11. You hate maths but can calculate pot odds even after three days without sleep.
  12. You start referring to things like your friend loosing his dog, a cyclone in fiji, or your sister spraining her ankle as ‘a bad beat’.
  13. You pay $110 a month for 1,365 channels and the only thing ever on your tv is poker.
  14. You have Texas Holdem, Negreanu Texas Holdem, Texas Holdem Kings I II & III, WPT I & II and Hold Em With Gus Hansen on your mobile.
  15. You can quote ten line passages and complex theory from 20 major advanced holdem books but can’t remember the second half of the first verse of the national anthem.
  16. You keep finding Casino chips in funny places at home you didn’t think you’d even been near for at least six months…like the dishwasher.
  17. You’ve lost contact with at least one high school friend because they don’t like playing poker.
  18. You see the bodily need for food and water as an inconvenience.
  19. You start wearing sunglasses at the movies and an ipod in the shower.
  20. You look at players like Shannon Elizabeth and Jennifer Tilly and respect the fact they are poker players more than you respect the fact that they are actors, and only slightly less than the fact that they have increadible racks.

Got your own signs of being a poker junkie? Share them below.

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